"And I'm Kanon from Wild Arms 2."

Cid. Today is Final Fantasy 7 vs. WildArms 2."

Kanon. "That s right! Today we'll really see which game is the best."

Cid. "Yep, with the main event being my man Cloud vs. that kid Ashley...."

Kanon. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Cid. "Let's just get to the first fight!"

Kanon. "In the Red corner Guardian of Desire and friend of the Sword Magess Lucied!!!

Cid. "And in the Blue corner from Cosmo Canyon, son of Seto, Nanaki!!! (Red XIII)."

Both walk out and at the same time howl at the moon, then they both start to growl. *Ding ding*. Lucied jumps to Red and grabs his neck and brings him to the ground. Lucied, "Your time is up!" Red smacks him in the face then rolls out of the way.

Red. "I wouldn't be too sure about that!" Red jumps on top of Lucied and grabs on his neck. This continues for about half and hour. *Ding ding*.

Kanon. "Wow! Wasn't that a great fight?"

Red and Lucied look up at the half empty arena and at the other half that's asleep. "But the fight s not over yet!"

Kanon. "Well, let s get to the next fight."

Cid. "ZZZZzzzzzZZZzz....."

Kanon elbows Cid in the shoulder to wake him up. Cid. "!!!! The next fight is to see who the most annoying person is! I don t know about this Lilka girl but if I had to fight or even be in a room with Yuffie alone I'd kill myself!"

Kanon. "My God let's hope so, I hate to say it but on this fight I'm not really hoping that Wild Arms 2 will win."

Cid. "Hey! Maybe they'll kill each other!!"

Kanon. "Let s hope so!!!"

Cid. "In the Blue corner from Wutai the ninja/thief Yuffie Kisaragi."

Kanon. "And from the Sielje Region the annoying Lilka Eleniak!"

Yuffie jumps into the ring. "Yah for me!!!!" She looks around. "So, who do I
fight?"

Kanon looks around the outside of the ring. "Where s Lilka?" Finally he sees her by the Jelly Roll stand fighting over the last jelly roll with Cinna and Palmer. "Hey Lilka, you're on!"

Lilka looks up and then runs to the ring. "you're going down you wannabe ninja!"

Yuffie. "Ohhhhh..... You re really scaring me!"

Lilka. "Fine!" She walks to Yuffie and punches her in the nose. "Hahaha!"

Yuffie falls down. "You meanie! I don t like you!"

Lilka. "You're going to like me even less when I do this!" Lilka grabs for her fire rod. "What?!?!?!?!"

Yuffie grins at her. "Looking for these? She waves around the three rods."

Lilka. "You little thief!"

Yuffie jumps to the other side of the ring then cast what she thought was fire 3 but turns out to be Cure 2.

Lilka regains her health. "Thanks for that, you dumbass!" Lilka starts to run at her. "Fine if I can t use the rods I'll use this!" Lilka tries to cast magic but the crests are gone! "So you took them too?"

Yuffie starts to laugh at her. "Guess you got no way to win."

Lilka pulls out a guardian pendant. I wouldn't say that!"

"Oh so you re going to summon something? Well, I can do that too!" Just as Lilka
gets off Rigdobrite, Yuffie summons Ifrit. Their attacks collide making a huge shock wave sending the two girls to either side of the ring. Lilka grabs onto the side of the ring and pulls herself up, while Yuffie stays down.

Cid. "Yah!!!!"

Kanon. "Well, I guess Lilka's the winner....damn."

Cid. "Well, the next fight is for the two rich guys."

Kanon. "In the Red corner from the Valeria Calto near Marina, the leader of Arms and master mind behind Odessa, Irving Vold Valeria!"

"And in the Blue corner, from Midgar, the anti-tree hugging, Mako loving rich boy, Rufus ShinRa!!!"

Irving walks to the ring with the help of his sister Altacia. "If you really want to die today I'll fight you but if you want to live I suggest that you leave now!"

Rufus looks up at him, shrugs, then looks back to the two pistols and the shotgun Yuffie stole from some guy from Odessa. Rufus finally stands up. "Okay let s go."

Irving draws his sword and starts to walk to Rufus who just walked to the other side of the ring. "You know if you go any slower I might be able to get all the Mako in the planet before the fights over."

Irving just smiles. "Well, if you want to die that much." He pulls out a shotgun of his own and blows a hole in Rufus's side. Rufus falls to the ground but gets his own shotgun and fires it but misses then falls all the way down.

Cid. "Guess Irving s the winner."

Kanon. "Two to nothing but that may change after the next fight because it s a 4 on 4-the Turks vs. Odessa!"

Cid, "But first let s go to Scarlet who's talking to Cloud and Ashley now!"

~BACKSTAGE~
Scarlet, "I heard that you both have been talking about this fight for a long time. Now
after you've met each other how do you feel about it now?"

Cloud. "Well, I think it's going to be a great fight. Ashley seems to be a really strong fighter and I'm looking forward for a challenge!"

Scarlet blinksa few time. "You do know that one of you is going to die?"

Cloud and Ashley. "................"

Scarlet "Well, um....... Back to you, Kanon!

"Um, ok then. Cid, let's move on to our fourth fight Turks vs. Odessa. There seems to be one difference in the program. Vinfield Will be fighting and Cinna will be sitting out."

Cid. "In the Blue corner from Midgar, the Shadows of ShinRa, the Turks-Reno, Rude, Elena, and their leader Tseng!"

Kanon, "And in the Red corner, from.......well, not from any particular place, they're the nightmare of Figaro Odessa's Special Cocytus Members. Ptolomea, Judecca, Antanora, and their leader Vinsfield Rhadamanthus!"

Both groups come running onto the ring.

Reno. "We're going to kick your asses! Oh yeah! You're going to be so fucked up that you might never make it to the Lifestream!"

Judecca. "Hold on I don t have my guns! Who the hell took them?!"

Reno steps forward. "What s wrong, can't you fight like a man, and use your hands?"

Judecca walks forward. "I could but then I'd get all bloody and I don't want to get all dirty."

"I bet you re just scared!!!"

"Anyone would be if they looked at you."

"What d you say?"

"I was just pointing out that my pet pitbull would run the other way if he saw you!"

"That s what I thought!" Reno jumps on top of Judecca and starts to punch him, Judecca dodges most of Reno's attacks and the one's that do connect don't hurt him much.

" Is that all you got, Turk?" Judecca puts his hands around Reno's neck and starts to strangle him."

Kanon. "Wow! Judecca always talks about strangling people but I never saw him do it."

"Can't............breath.....not......enough.....air.....Rude...............help.......me........"

The other Turks and Odessa members watch in amusement till Rude jumps between the two. "Stop kicking my friend s ass!" Rude and Judecca get into a fist fight.

Petolomea runs into the battle and starts off where Judecca left off.

Vinsfield walks forward to Tseng. "My people will crush yours in an instant."

Tseng nods, smiles, and then pulls out a grenade and gives it to Vinsfield and runs.

Vinsfield looks at it but by the time he realizes what it is it explodes.

Antanora. "You'll pay dearly for that, Turk!"

Tsneg. "Elena, can you take care of this?"

Elena walks to Antanora. "My pleasure sir." Elena punches Antanora. Antanora falls back but then gets back up right away.

"Oh my GOD! I broke a nail!"

Elena comes running to her. "I'm so sorry, are you okay?"

Tseng -_-"". "What????? Elena kill her!"

Elena turns around. "Hey, you have no idea what it s like to break a nail."

~~

Judecca and Rude continue to punch each other till Judecca looks to the place where
Rufus was sitting. "My guns!!!!" Judecca runs over and grabs them and starts to make
sure they're okay. (Like if a good parent would if they were separated from their children).

~~

Petolomea and Reno however are strangling one another till Reno gets Petolomea down and starts to punch and strangle him, after Petolomea is unconscious Reno gets up and walks to Tseng. At the same time Rude managed to cast Cure 3 on himself and proceeded to walk up behind Judecca who was still making sure the guns were okay and was now quietly talking to them. "Its ok I'll never let that happen again your safe now..."

~~

Elena and Antanora were now having somewhat of a cat fight over who's fault it was that Antanora broke a nail.

~~

Rude was now right behind Judecca when Cinna yelled. "Hey Judecca you know one of them Turks is behind you!"

Rude jumped back. "Damn! Hey, that s not fair!"

Judecca, now annoyed, "Cinna, can't you see I m trying to see if my babies are okay."

"But there's a........."

"Shut up would you?"

"Fine. But that guy over there's going to kill you."

"What guy?" He turns around to find Rude waiting to fight with him. "Sorry, I don t fight fair....." He shoots Rude down.

~~

Elena now has Antanora backed up in a corner of the ring.

Antanora. "Judecca help me!"

Judecca. "Why should I? He starts to walk away."

"Please......if you do I'll let you kill everyone in Guild Galand and not yell at you!!!"

"Now that's what I m talking about!" He draws his gun and takes a shot but just as he shoots Antanora gets hit in front of the bullet. "Sorry about that!" He shoots again and hits Elena this time. *Ding ding*.

Kanon. "Well, that makes it Wild Arms 2-4 points and Final Fantasy 7 with 3."

Cid. "This next fight isn't going to be to the death."

Kanon, "Yes, unfortunately we couldn't get these next two fighters to agree to kill anyone so it's going to be whoever falls to the ground first."

"In the Blue corner from the City of Ancients and the best flower girl in Midgar, Aeris Gainsbourough!!!"

"And in the Red corner, the little rich girl Altacia." The two walk to the ring.

Aeris. "Do we have to fight?"

Altacia. "I guess so. *Ding ding*.

Aeris walks forward. "I don't see why we have to fight. I mean there's nothing I'm mad at you for. Why don t we just forfeit."

Tifa. "You can t do that!"

Marvil. "Yeah! Besides, I heard that Altacia called you fat!"

Tifa. "Yeah and Aeris, she told me that she thinks Could's ugly!"

Aeris. "Oh really?"

Altacia. "that's not true! I never said that."

Marvil. "Yes you did. And that was just after Aeris said you were a brat!"

Tifa. "And you can tell you and Irving are twins because you look like a man!"

Altacia. "?!?!?!?!?! You re going down scank!"

Aeris. "Not to a rich bitch like you!"

"You'll regret saying that you FAT FLOWER GIRL!!!!"

"!!!!!!!FAT!!!!!!!" Aeris runs at her with her staff raised. "Take THIS!!" She smacks her two times in the side and misses the third shot.

"Hey!!! No fair!!!" She runs over to Irving and grabs his sword, then runs at Aeris who just manages to stop the blade with her staff, and then pushes Altacia back who loses control and falls back. Aeris walks over and starts to hit her till she goes unconscious. "Anybody else wanna call me FAT?!" Everybody else shakes their heads. "Good." She walks off the ring and to Cloud. "Let s go home, NOW!!!"

"But I can't I have to fight with...." Aeris gives him the death glare. "Boco, come!" A gold chocobo comes running over to Aeris and Cloud. They hop on and the Chocobo runs off.

Kanon. "..................."

Cid. "Well now how the hell are we going to have the final fight?"

"Can't we just get someone else?"

Sephiroth materializes. "Why don't I fight the other main bad guy for the Main Event?"

Cid. "It would work but he's dead."

Sephiroth. "How about one of the other bad guys?"

Kanon. "Well, the only two left are Judecca and Cinna....and Judecca's still talking to his guns and Cinna's well........"

Sephiroth. "Who cares anyway. I'll just fight her then."

Cinna. "No way in hell am I fighting him!"

Kanon. "Well let's get started. In the Red corner, part of Odessa's Special Cocytus Squd-Cinna!!!"

Cid. "And in the Blue corner from Hojo's lab, the highest member in SOLDIER, Sephiroth!!!"

*Ding ding*.

Cinna. "Hell no-Judecca, HELP!!!!"

Judecca, still examining the pistols and shotgun, barely looks up to his fellow comrade. "NO! Not now I'm busy!"

Sephiroth chases after her for a little while till Cinna opens a tunnel to a different dimension, which causes the ring, all the people in the stands, and anyone else to the North side of the arena and the street to be thrown into some different world (including Sephiroth.)

Cid. "Well, I guess this means WA2 wins. DAMN!!!"

Kanon. "Yah! Good job Cinna!"

Cinna. "................."

Judecca walks over. "The hell d you do to the ring?!"

Cinna. "Well, if you would have helped me this wouldn't have happened. You and your stupid guns!!!"

Judecca (now upset). "Don t call my bab- I mean don't call my guns stupid!"

Cinna. "You know you're messed up, Judecca! I think you were dropped on your head a few too many times when you were a baby!!!"

Judecca. "I was not!"

Cinna. "Was too!"

"Was not."

"Was too."

"Was not."

"Was too."

"WAS NOT!!!" Judecca pulls out his shotgun. "I said was not and Trowa here thinks so too."

Cinna is first scared then starts to laugh so hard that she almost falls over. "You named your guns?!"

"Maybe........" He sadly puts them away and walks off what s left of the ring.

"I'm sorry, I just find it funny that you named em that's all......."

Judecca. :-( "Whatever."

Cid. "Well, I guess it s over now."

Kanon. "WA2 forever!!!"

Cid. "Okay fine shut your trap!" :)

Kanon. "What'd you say?"

Cid. "Well that s all the time we have for today! Tune in next time for more Final Fantasy vs. Crap Ass games action!"

Kanon. "Crap ass games?"

Cid. "Well, see ya....."

END

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After everyone starts to go~

Tifa. "I don t think it s dumb that you named your guns."

"Really?"

"Yah!"

"Thanks!!!" Judecca leans over and gives Tifa a hug, then starts to walk away.

Tifa stands up then Reno walks over. "Hey Tifa, you know I named my night stick." ^-^

"Reno, don t make me kick your ass...again!!"

"But you never know-I might like it....."

Tseng walks by. "So, that s why you and Rude always fight?"

"!!!!!!!!!!!"

Vincent. "Um that was more than anyone needed to know."

"Hey! I'm not gay! And if I was I'd at least get someone good with some stile, like Reeve!"

Everyone's mouth drops open.

Reeve s voice comes from Cait Sith. "Hey, don't pull me into this!"

Vincent. "Ewwwww. I just got this nasty picture in my head!!!"

Cid walks over. "Hey, what ya all talking about?"

Tifa. "So Reno, how about Cid?"

Reno. "First, I AM NOT GAY! Second, I was just using Reeve as an example."

Tifa. "Sure you were."

Palmer walks in. "I KNEW IT!!!! RENO AND REEVE ARE LUVVAS!!! RENO AND REEVE ARE LUVVAS!!!! RENO AND REEVE ARE LUVVAS!!!!"