By Vincent Valentine

Fine seamen are we, and nothing more

Laboring and cooperating with one another,

Passing the time with tales of fantastic lore

Tales of crabs and fish and lobsters and whales

Of bigger fish and monsters and dragons with scales

Of nearly being carried to the very bottom of the deep

All in the tales of the quandaries at sea

Tales of wind and rain, in a whirlpool, down the drain!

Of ghosts and goblins hidden in caves

Spirits controlling wind and the waves

Flying objects in the sky

Other ships and unlawful passers by

Eerie visions and sights on land

And the eerie missions that lie at hand

Strange sights and ghastly presences

Surrounding mist and colored fog

Bubbling waters and smelly smog

Oh and there’s more yet!

We even had system anomalies

There was the time we lost our steering ability,

But we were rescued by the giant water-lizard, which towed us to safety

We also once lost our map and the stars fell from the sky,

But the strange lights on the water guided us to port; we didn’t die

But we did sink to the ocean floor once as I recall and all my comrades died at sea

But thank heavens the coral beast rescued me

After all this I got a new crew, but as I recall, they died too

Well, I lived on to have even more adventures, which I won’t tell you now

For I fear the time for me to leave you is soon to be due

These tales you may think false concoctions of imagination to prevent true knowledge of the death of the crews from ever being known to the public

For which reason my writing you condemn

All I have to say in reply is “Land-farer that’s your problem.”